Things I’ve Been Doing Lately

  1. Drawing a picture of my trash for an art project. I had to collect my trash for 3 days and illustrate my “carbon footprint.” My picture consists of three coffee cups and five diet Pepsi cans. I was up til 4 in the morning drawing it, appropriately enough.
  2. Talking to strangers on the bus. Specifically old men named Joe, who creepily move over to make room for me to sit down even when the bus is empty and then proceed to explain to me that they are from Tampa, and what’s the university up the road again? When I respond “Carnegie Mellon,” Joe says, “No, no, that’s not it.” He talks about mumbo jumbo for ten minutes, and then we pass Carnegie Mellon, when he exclaims, “That’s the one I was talking about!” Once more, I say, “That’s Carnegie Mellon.” He says “Kennedy Mellon! Oh, you said that before didn’t you? Well, that’s the one. Kennedy Mellon. Is it a community college?” I respond, “No, it’s pretty up there, Joe.”
  3. Avoiding daily showers, for the most part, because I feel that my hygiene should reflect my overall outlook.
  4. Getting hired as an intern for next semester, because I’m so on top of my game it’s ridiculous. (Contradictory sarcasm. Except for the first part of the sentence. That’s actually true.)
  5. Trying to scrape together bits of sanity and present them to Graduate Admissions Boards and say “SEE? Look how sane and talented I am! Take me and give me all the money. Actually give me extra money so that I can attend classes and also eat, occasionally. I’m really not that good at anything else, so this is my one and only shot at a career. I’ll be an asset to your program, I swear. I promise. Just take me.” *
  6. Promising Jack a real breakfast at a diner up the street, and then upon seeing him after 4 hours of sleep, cry on him about how overwhelming life, and especially breakfast, is right now. When he tells me we don’t have to go, I pretend to feel bad and then make him shell pasta with vodka sauce for breakfast, which is so clearly worth a 30 minute drive, don’t you think?

(* – actual excerpt from my Personal Statement, not really, just kidding.)

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